HOW TO CONTROL YOUR COMEDY

by Ron Stevens

Being funny can be very frustrating. Sure, you can be funny at a party or with a group of friends. Sometimes you're hilarious. But sometimes you're just not in the mood, or the mood of the moment isn't right. So you don't really control the situation. But, then again, you don't have to. Nobody says you have to be funny every day . . . except . . . when you're at work. Your job is to entertain, to be witty and creative. Your listeners and your boss expect you to be "on" every day, not just when the mood is right. How do you accomplish this seemingly impossible feat?

How can you control the creative tap? How can you turn it on and off whenever you want? How do you develop the talent to create funny ideas every day, not just once in a while? I'm asked these questions so often I sense a real frustration from many radio personalities who really want to do more for their shows, but they just aren't sure how to break through. After thinking about it for some time, I've concluded that there is a common point where most of this frustration is focused. It's that point where you know what you want to do a comedy bit about, but you just don't know what to do. You know you want to do a bit about Ozzie Osbourne's TV show or Botox treatments, but you're not sure what to write. You know you should say something clever about Spider-Man, the movie, because it's so big, but you just don't know what to say. You know your target, but you don't know what weapon to use to get that bullseye. Right?

Learning your true trade is learning how to turn these obvious targets into great bits. Let's explore some techniques that will help you get from topic to comedy bit. (And I'm sure you agree a comedy bit can be anything from a fully produced bit to a live routine to a throwaway one liner.) The topic is "Second Hand Smoke." Everyone has an opinion about whether second hand smoke is a hazard to your health. So let's see what we can do to create a funny bit about it.

First, as I've stressed many many times in the past, the most important step you will take to get from topic to bit is to decide what YOU think about the topic. What are your true feelings about second hand smoke? Do you resent people who smoke in restaurants? Do you think the cigarette companies are hiding the truth? Do you think it's all hogwash? When you write YOUR opinion about the topic on a piece of paper, you've taken your first major step to writing the best comedy bit. For example, you might write down the following:

"I think second hand smoke is a major cause of medical problems in America. It's outrageous that anyone who smokes thinks it's okay to share their cancer with their friends and family. Anyone who wants to, should be allowed to smoke, as long as they don't infringe on my right to live in a smoke-free environment. It's like owning a gun. You can own a gun if you want, as long as you don't aim it at me and endanger my life."

By writing down your own opinion first, you've given yourself a starting point and a direction. Next, you need to find your focus. Look back at what you've written and choose ONE statement from your opinion you feel would be best to use as a basis for a bit. In other words, what is it you would like to say with your comedy bit? From my example, let's choose "It's like owning a gun." I like this statement because it compares the dangers of second hand smoke with the dangers of misusing a gun, which happens to be another very hot topic. So that becomes our focus: Smoking is like owning a gun.

So I've chosen a topic, analyzed how I feel about the topic, and decided what my focus of the bit will be, based on my feelings. Now I'm ready for the next step. Now I will expand on my concept, keeping my focus (or purpose) for the bit in mind. I want my listeners to see how dangerous second hand smoke is. It's so dangerous, it's just like owning a gun. The idea is not funny alone, but it's the focus of my bit, and I intend to make my point in a humorous way. So how can I expand on this concept? One way should be obvious. If I'm comparing two things - cigarette smoke and guns - why not make a list of what these two things have in common? This is just one way to expand on my focus, but it's a good one. Let's run a quick list of comparisons.

1. Both tobacco and firearms are controlled by the same government agency - The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. This could come in handy in merging the two.
2. You FIRE a gun, and you use FIRE to light a cigarette.
3. You can snuff someone out with a gun, and you snuff out a cigarette.
4. Both these issues have divided the nation into two groups - those for and those against. (Of course, those "for" smoking may be "against" guns and vice versa.)
5. Both guns and cigarettes can kill you. (This, of course, is our point.)

This list of similarities can extend well beyond this sample list. But now let's look at some of the differences between the two:

1. You can purchase cigarettes in a vending machine. You can't buy guns in a vending machine.
2. You can't reload a cigarette like a gun.
3. Cigarettes are quiet, guns are very noisy.
4. People aren't allergic to guns, but they can be allergic to cigarette smoke.

Again, this list can be expanded. Let's list some other points that come to mind, to help us expand on our focus:

1. Cigarette butts are somewhat like bullet shells. They're left behind after the cigarette or gun is used.
2. Cigarettes make people cough.
3. You need a license to buy a gun.
4. You don't see billboard ads for guns as you do for cigarettes.

As you list each expansion of your idea, you give yourself more ammunition (no pun intended) to hit your intended target. So the more you write down the better.

Now we'll take these lists we've created and again pick out those sentences we feel will help us best to make our point in a creative, humorous way. Here are a few possibilities:

The first idea that comes to my mind from this list is probably too visual for radio, but I'm going to write it down anyway. I'm thinking of a duel between two cowboys. But instead of guns they're blowing smoke in each other's face. It might be a funny way to resolve an argument between two listeners. Instead of a duel, have the two listeners meet on a parking lot, stand back-to-back, walk one step, turn and begin blowing smoke in each other's face. Since you consider cigarettes as deadly as guns, this is a lethal duel. The first one to cough loses.

Next . . . how about calling up a billboard company that allows cigarette ads on their billboards, and try to place an offensive ad for a new handgun your company wants to sell. When they refuse your ad, remind them that they run cigarette ads all over town and cigarettes kill more people than guns.

Okay . . . how about a produced bit about a gang of killers who go around blowing smoke on people in "drive by puffings."

One more . . . . Start a running contest between gun deaths and smoking deaths in your town. Contact the local coroner to help you tabulate the daily score, and see which comes out ahead over 30 days. You'll probably get a lot of negative reaction to this, but you'll certainly make your point and get a lot of attention. You'll need to use a drum roll and write the numbers up on the "big board" each day, as the new numbers come in.

As you know, there are many many ways a funny idea can be expressed. You can deliver it as a one-line joke. You can write a sketch with characters. You can interact with a regular character on your show. You can write and produce a song to make your point. You can parody an existing song to convey your message. The options are endless. And exploring the options is a very good way to help you create a clever bit for your topic. So while you go through these steps to create your bit, you'll need to make one more list. This is a list you can keep for all your bits. You need to list all the possible ways you can present a funny idea. Then, with each bit you work on, run your idea down this list to consider all the possible ways you have at your disposal to present your idea. This list should include all the characters you use on our show, and all the different talent you have access to. It should also include the following:

Song parody, commercial spoof, jingle, phone call, "live" on-location, interview, interactive, talk show spoof, drop-in, one-liner, news spoof, play-by-play, and whatever else you feel is appropriate for your show. Over time this list should expand as you discover new ways to present your ideas. Follow this easy 1-2-3, step-by-step creative writing plan, and you'll soon find you've got your creativity under control. Here are the steps again:

1. Pick a topic.
2. Write down how you feel about the topic.
3. Pick a sentence or phrase from what you've written, to use as a focus. What is it you want to say with your bit?
4. Expand on your focus by listing as many things as you can think about this focus.
5. Choose from this new list those ideas you feel will contribute to a good bit.
6. From the ideas you've chosen, go down your list of "ways you can present a bit" and write down any ideas that come to mind.
7. From this final batch you should have at least one usable idea.